Kevin was introducing me the other day and when he mentioned his brothers and sisters it threw me back. My mom also wonders what to say when asked, "How many kids do you have?"
In my life on earth I have had four brothers, and two sisters. But sadly two of my brothers are no longer on this earth. What do I say? The person asking has no idea he or she may get a melt down by me if I mention Eric's name. Sometimes it is so confusing to even tell the story. Sometimes I don't want to.
This may seem small but this is one of the ways that my life has forever changed. My older brother, Eric is gone. He does not age or grow. Someday I will surpass the age he was at his death (he was 32, I am about to be 31 in Oct.) Will he then still be my big brother?
Usually I can muster a, "I have 2 living brothers, and 2 no longer on earth, plus 2 sisters." Then I can usually quickly start to talk about how my youngest brother is 2 and that is shock enough for most people, and not nearly as sad as the two brothers who are gone.
But still it is strange, I used to have, I still have, here on earth, in heaven, these are all terms I wish were not related to any of my siblings. (I mean I wish it were as simple as four brothers and two sisters.)
-Becky
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Siblings
Posted by Becky R at 11:07 PM
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4 comments:
You can answer, "I still have 2 brothers and 2 sisters," and leave it at that. The "still" implies they're still on the planet.
My brother died at 31, and it felt weird when i was his age then exceeded it. Yet, when i think of him, he's still my older brother. Always will be.
I find i just don't talk about family much. When people ask, which occurs less frequently as you age, probably because they don't want to hear about who's living and dead, i just say simply that most of my family is dead, and move on to talk about my wonderful friends.
If i don't want to talk about it, i don't. Some people will ask, most just don't know what to say and feel bad for asking. Not their fault--most people don't think about losing their immediate family by the time they're 29.
megan
This post made me cry. I hate death.
I know I am 30, I should not have lost my brother at 29 (or my baby brother at 8 for that matter either.)
But God's timing is perfect and he knew the day of their births and deaths.
You can 4 brothers, if you choose. They may not be here on this earth with you, but they are still your brothers. It is your decision. If someone asks me, I say I have a sister and a brother but I do not have contact with my brother, but people don't ask very often. What you say is your decision. Megan's suggestion is a nice middle ground. Good luck and *hugs*.
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