It's not easy

Strong willed. Spirited. Exuberant. Energetic.

These are some words to describe my children.

I just spent an hour trying to keep Josh in time out for saying a bad word. Which escalated into him hitting me, kicking me, spitting on me, and lots of screaming (and he is 7, not 2.)

Josh likes to get his way and he will stop at almost nothing to get it.

I have to calmly and in love show him who is boss and stick to my word.

Because of the tantrum (which he did finally come down from) he has been sent to bed.

Now I am utterly exhausted. It toke all my strength to calmly put him back in bed each time he got up and make the final call that he was in for the night.

Now both my boys have challenges (Jason has ADHD, learning disabilities, perception and sensory issues; and Josh has been diagnosed with ODD.) In addition they have the environmental factors of no dad in the home and dealing with me (I can get stressed, cranky, impatient, etc. myself.)

So it is very hard to know what issue am I dealing with. When Jason needs a break from schoolwork is it because it is too hard or he just needs a break or is he manipulating me?

No matter what some things are not acceptable no matter what:

hitting
cursing
spitting
kicking
disobeying
disrespect

But not only do my boys need to answer to me, they need to answer to God. His laws are clear. He does not want us to sin. Yes, He sent Jesus to cover that sin, but that is not an excuse to sin. Once we have accepted Jesus, we need to be more like Christ. The more we obey, the more we grow in Him.

I also need to be setting an example. Which is extremely hard (for me anyway.) Often I sin in my anger. Sometimes I curse or yell, and I certainly disobey God a lot.

But for tonight I kept my cool. As I put Josh back in bed for maybe the 30th time I was just praying for God to help me be calm and help Josh to obey. I was also thanking God for Joshua and for God allowing me to be Josh's mother.

For now Jason is quietly doing school work, and Josh is in bed for the night. I think I will be turning in soon too, after spending some quiet time with God. I need Him to pour His love on me so I can have some to share.

-Becky