Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Is my debt a lack of trust in the Lord?

I just posted how I hate debt, but yet mine has increased in past month, rather than decrease. I know it is not that high (about $400 not including my mortgage,) but still I want it at zero. Why then, you may ask, did it increase.

I used the Kohl's to buy a Mother's Day gift and Josh some summer clothes. I know I could have made the mother's day gift, and probably searched around for more hand me downs for Josh, but I didn't. So in reality none of these were needs. I also bought at Kohl's 100 washcloths on clearance because each year we make about 100 shoe boxes at our church for Operation Christmas Child and we put a washcloth in each box. They were about .40 each and great quality, so I got them. We usually buy a case of cheaper quality washcloths for about .50 cents each. I could put in for these at church (we fundraise money to buy the supplies to make 100 boxes.) But will have to wait to put in for them until Nov., when we have fundraised again. Instead I think I will just donate them. I also bought about 20 winter scarves, mittens, hats, and gloves. These were originally $20-$40 items (of which I would have never paid) and were marked down to $2.80 each. These will be Christmas gifts or donations to those in need in the winter (probably both.) I also got a digital Christmas ornament and a few Christmas flashlights that were left over from Christmas and will be great gifts for this year. I spent about $170 on my Kohl's charge for all these items.

On my Amazon line of credit I just bought some of our fish oils, Goodnights, and a few other not exactly necessities, but stuff we use and I prefer to buy. I also bought a gift for the twins I babysit for because their family is so good to me.

But I know that I should not be using credit cards or lines of credit, so as soon as I pay off the Amazon I will be canceling it. I will not cancel the Kohl's because with it I frequently get 30% off coupons, and I find their quality to be good on the boys clothes.

What I know that I need to do when I think I have a need is to pray and ask God to provide. If He does then I know it was truly a need. If not then I can wait or do without.

Right now I need (as told by oil change place and my mechanic) 4 new (or newer tires.) Instead of using my MasterCard (that is at zero) I am just praying about it.

Also the boys each only have one pair of sneakers. I think they need another and a pair of sandals each, but have decided against going back to Kohl's. I am praying about it. Let me tell it, it is tough though. I feel mom guilt that my boys only have one pair of sneakers (that is all they have at least I have sneakers, church shoes, & two pairs sandals, but only because my feet don't grow. I have had my sneakers since 2007 or 2009, my church shoes since 2002, my other sandals since 2008, and they were only $5 new, and my everyday sandals since 2010.)

God has proven time and time again to me that He will provide. If He doesn't I need to accept that it wasn't really a need.

So yes, my non mortgage debt, is a lack of me trusting in the Lord. Time for a fresh start. So thankful our God is a God of second chances (and third, and fourth, and so on.)