Stuck

Lately I am just stuck. Not sure of where I am going, not really wanting to get there anyway. I am doing lots of relaxing, and sleeping, and thinking. I am thinking about my past choices and those I make today. I am what ifing so many things in my head. I am also romanticizing those choices as well.

I am also desiring to have a peaceful, loving, safe home. I am not sure where it went awry and why it is not like that, but it is not. Sometimes I don't even want to be here. Other times I turn a blind eye so that I don't have to deal with it. Certainly not the mature, responsible thing to do.

Some days I cry out in prayer and angst that I am not really doing His will at all.

I really do want to do His will. I really want to be a better person. But right now I am stuck in my own head and selfish ways. I have been here before. Too many times. And each and every time, I have chosen my way. Let me tell you that HAS NOT WORKED! I think it is time to really choose His ways.

Please join me in prayer regarding this.

Thanks.

~Becky