I can not fall asleep

I was so exhausted from yesterday that we all slept in and missed church (I really slept in.) Then I realized my back was really hurting so I layed around ALL day. I even took a nap. So now I can not fall asleep. Please pray I can fall asleep asap and am able to go to work tomorrow. I can not afford to call out and I fear if I do I may lose my job. But I am having a hard time doing stuff with my back. Thanks! -Becky

My Saturday

Hi! I have not posted much this week as I no longer have paid internet service. I did get 10 free hours a month from Juno. I am glad as it is free, but it is slow. I am using the Juno now.


Yesterday Samantha (my sister), Eric and Kevin (my brothers), Scott (my stepfather), and I threw my mom a surprise 50th birthday party. We had a lobster / clam bake. It was nice. We really all worked hard together which I know my mom appreciated. My mom is so amazing. I wanted her to know how much she was loved and appreciated. I hope she knows that. MOM YOU ARE GREAT! MY WORLD WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU (actually I would not exist without you. lol.)

-Becky

Jeannette, my beautiful mother

Jason (10), Me (28), & Joshua (5) at my mom's surprise party on Saturday

Eric (32),
Me (28),
my mom (50),
Kevin (27),
and Samantha (19)

Good morning

It is so cool out. I love fall. I love the cool, crisp air. I love when the leaves change color. I love to rake the leaves (sometimes.) I love apple picking, and hayrides, and pumpkin picking. I love next Fri. (my birthday, I will be 29.)

We are about to go to co-op, then Jason has an appointment with the podiatrist. Then we get Joshua at 3:00. Then prep for Bible study tonight, then soccer 5-6, then aerobics 6-7, and Bible study 7-8:00, then I have an appointment at 8:00. AHHHH!!!!! But I am in a great mood.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for waking me up. Thank you for our health. Thank you for Jason & Joshua. Thank you that I made it to Josh's school on time. Help me to be calm all the day. Lord, I love you!

In Jesus Name,
Amen!

Have a great day! -Becky

Ready for bed

It is about 10:30pm. My kids are in there own beds and are asleep. I actually made them go to bed in there own beds tonight. This is a small, but awesome victory at our house.

We went to church this morning (even made Sunday school) and then went to lunch with my cousin and her kids (she paid-she offered.) It was nice. Then after church we did nothing. We hung around the house, played some board games, watched a movie, and had dinner. We didn't clean or anything. I did manage to do the dishes and get all our clothes and snacks and lunches made for tomorrow, but for the most part we relaxed.

So now I am actually going to get in bed and read a bit. I realize that I need 7-8 hours of sleep, in addition to daily exercise, and healthy eating, so even if the house is a bit messy, I am going to bed. I am going to focus on being in bed by 10:30pm this week, and getting up at 6:30am to do my devotion. Pray that I can succeed in at least that.

Goodnight! -Becky

Amazing book

The other day I stayed up until about 3:00am, as I could not put this book down.

It is about a family who in the 50's wanted kids and could not have any. They were a pastor and his wife, so they really could not afford to adopt. But over the course of time they prayed and sought out kids nobody wanted, special needs kids and mixed race kids. They book is so good, you feel as if you are part of there family. I am actually having Jason read it as well. He likes it so far. This book went out of print, but now is back in print. You can get it at:
Amazon

I am not getting paid to write this post, just wanted to share a heartwarming story.

Now, I really am off to bed! -Becky

My dream house

this is my dream house, right down to the color and plants hanging on the wrap around porch

I am better

Hello! I got lots of rest and am so much better.

Our week went more smoothly and we got more accomplished as well. I even got another job (I know, I need less, not more) but I think it will be good. I will be doing childcare in a homeschool family's home Mon. from 9:00-2:30. I get to bring Jason. It will just be Jason and this one almost 4 year old girl. So we can do schoolwork while I work. (They need childcare as Mon. the mom brings the younger child to his therapies as he has special needs.) The family is Christian and super nice. The mom was a nanny so she could pay for college, so she does not want to treat me as a servant, since she has been there.
Wed. I will work in the office, Jason will be with a friend of mine who homeschools and will assure he does his work.
Fri. I will also be at work at the office, my mom will watch Jason. She will bring him to work with her, so he will get most of his lessons done there as well.
Tues. & Thur. we are still doing co-op from 9:30-2:00. This is great as everyday, except Wed. I will be able to get Josh from school. And everyday I get to bring him to school.

So far all Sept. bills are paid and will be paid by Oct. 3rd, including Oct. rent.

I also have two opportunities in the next two weeks to make some extra money which will be helpful as I have some unbudgeted expenses in the next few weeks:

$24 for new driver's license (mine is expiring)
$25 daycare license fee
$30 co-op insurance fee
$18 need propane tank refilled

I will be doing childcare for a temple on there Jewish holidays, the pay will just about cover all above expenses.

God is so good! We are so blessed!

I also was able to buy some clothes, as Sears online was having a super clearance. I bought 30 items for $130 including shipping. Most are for next spring and summer, but a few will be for fall. I got 2 pairs Capri's, 4 skirts, 2 skorts, 19 short sleeve shirts, and 2 3/4 length shirts, and 1 pair nice pants. I am so excited to have an entire new wardrobe for next Spring (minus underclothes and shoes, but I actually bought new sandals this summer, so they will still be good for spring.) If I lose weight as I want to, I will sell entire lot on eBay. I am sure I will make the $130 back.

Plus I still have money in my freedom account for a brake job, which I will need in Oct.

Another thing is big Jason (my son's dad) called the therapist and we are going to have a phone conference to discuss Jason (my son) in Oct. I am nervous, but glad he is reaching out as my son misses him alot. I feel good that I will have the therapist to help me with the call. Pray as we do not agree on anything, especially homeschooling!

So, I feel more optimistic than this past week.

And one more crazy thing, I called to cancel my internet for Sept. 11th (last day of my billing cycle), but they never did. Weird! I have to call about it on Monday. I hope since it is not my mistake I will not have to pay for the services from Sept. 11th on, but I have been using them so maybe that is not fair?

I am off to bed. -Becky

stress

Hello! Boy do I really feel squeezed right now. I am trying to adjust to being a single mom who works outside the home two days a week, homeschools, and does homeschool co-op, and so on and so on. It is all too much. Since alot is new I have not fallen into a good schedule. My office job is going well, I feel that when I am there working I am confident and get what I need to done. The co-op is going great. I love teaching the preschool kids. It is so much fun. Plus I have another teacher, who is great with the kids. Joshua has adjusted very well to Kindergarten.

My problem areas are as followed:

-homeschooling not working well (with me and Jason)
-stress about finances
-getting to bed by 11:00 and up by 6:30
-getting Josh to school by 8:30 and picking him up by 3:00
-keeping up with Josh's homework and school events (I missed back to school night last night, I didn't even know about it)
-keeping house clean & laundry done
-my time with the Lord
-my exercise time
-work schedule needs adjusting (as per my jobs request)

I know clearly that the first thing I need to do is commit every morning to God. This will probably alleviate lots of my stress (which I need to give to Him anyway.)

I think I just am so overwhelmed. I am not feeling that great the past few days (could be stress?) I think I have developed allergies, but not sure. Plus today I found out big Jason called the therapist. Ultimately, I want him involved with his son. But it makes my stomach hurt to think about me having to see or talk to him. I know I should not let one person have that much control, but that is how I feel. Plus, tonight Josh had soccer at 5:00, I had aerobics at 6:00, then Bible study at 7:00, but no sitter (so the kids would have had to come with me.) With me feeling sick on top of all that I said Josh was not going to soccer, I was not going to aerobics, and I cancelled Bible study.

I feel a bit relieved as I plan to put the kids to bed early and go to bed early myself, but guilty that I am being so irresponsible with commitments lately. I feel like God wanted me to focus on Jason & Joshua, but that that is not really happening. I want to put God first, be a good mom, but also have me time. Is this possible?

I hate living in this survival mode. I want to overcome.

God, please help me see clearly how you want my days to go Lord. Lord, please continue to find a way for us financially.
Lord, I pray big Jason does not fight me on everything and if he does you give me strength.
I pray that you would show me how to homeschool Jason effectively and parent effectively as well.
Lord, I do not want to forget that I know how blessed we are.
I thank you for my boys and our home.
I thank you for our family, church family, and friends.
So many people are helping me to raise my boys, please bless them Lord.

Help me to get some rest and face tomorrow head on, and with you accomplish your will.

In Jesus Name -Amen!

-Becky

Monica & I

Here is a long awaited photo of my sister in the Lord, Monica & me. We have been friends almost 10 years now, and we only have like two pictures of us. The last is over 6 years old. Monica is the big sister I always wanted and we have to talk at least three times a day. If we don't she literally may drive over just to assure we are ok. I am so grateful for her in my life. It is also great that our boys are the same age. Her Justin is 10 and her Dylan is 5. Just like my Jason is 10, and my Joshua is 5. It is so helpful to have a friend who is in the same stage of life as I am. I love you MONICA! -Becky

blogs I enjoy

- sweet family who just adopted 2 girls

- Mom

- great money tips for regular people

-Courtney & family

- Kelly

- Gabe & April, missionaries in Mexico

-Duane

-awesome author, doctor, mom, and more

PLEASE DONATE ASAP

Please prayfully consider supporting me in the WALK FOR LIFE. It is a fundraiser for our local pregnancy center, where I came to know the Lord 10 years ago (Oct. 1998.) PTL!!!

They do so much check out there website, Solutions Pregnancy Center

They are all amazing and mostly volunteers who care about the woman and men who are in unplanned pregnancy situations. They offer free pregnancy tests, counseling, parenting classes, mentoring, baby stuff (new and used, like diapers and cribs, and clothes.) And they do so much more. They minister to the spirit as well as the physical (kind of hard to hear about Jesus when your baby is hunger or needs diapers, they meet these needs.)

I will be taking donations through firstgiving at my fundraising page. Or you can email me jason121097@yahoo.com to give a pledge amount (leave full name, address, and pledge amount in email.) Thanks!

goodbye internet

As of tomorrow we will no longer have internet in our home. This was purely a financial decision as I need to cut cost like crazy and only have the bare necessities. I will get online at my mom's and library, so I am going to figure out how to set posts to appear a different day (so I can still post a few a week.) But I commit I will update this blog at least once a week. I am a little addicted to this blog, so I have to get my fix. I am also addicted to reading many of your blogs DAILY! I hope I can make it (lol!)

Please pray as Jason is having some adjustment issues, and for me as I am super stressed over all I have to do each day. Being a Christian is hard. Being a mom is hard. Being single is hard. Life is hard! Ok, you all already know this. (or have your own hard stuff anyway.) But I know God will give me strength, pray I remember to ask HIM daily!

Also pray that I do not add any more commitments as our week looks like this:

Our weekdays:
Mon.- Thur.
me up at 6:30 devotion time
shower & dress
7:15-Josh up & ready for school
7:45-Jason up
8:00-breakfast
Jason ready
8:15-take Josh to school
come back & get Jason
8:45-off to work or homeschool co-op
9:15-4:15-work / 9:30-2:15 homeschool co-op
get boys from sitters (Josh 3:00 on Tues.,& Thur.)
dinner
8:00-Josh bed
9:00-Jason bed
clean house
try & exercise (not happening yet)
lunches, clothes, & lesson plans for next day
11:00-me bed (not really happening yet)

Fri.
Josh to school and Jason in home homeschool day
me laundry as well

Nights:
Tues. night 5-6 Josh soccer
6-7 aerobics
7-8:15-Bible study

Wed. night 6-8:30 church activities (dinner & kids program, I help out with that)

Thur. night 5:30-Jason doctor (every other week)

Fri. night 4:30-5:30-aerobics
6-7 Josh soccer
family time

Sat.-straighten house
soccer game
fun with kids
work at 5:00

Sun.- 9:15 Sunday school
10:30-church

RELAX DAY
all clothes clean and ready for week (not happening yet)
boys in bed early
lesson plans for week (not happening yet)

I can hardly breath. But pray I need to do time with God every day, go to bed by 11:00pm (and be asleep), and wake up at 6:30. I also need to exercise about 20 min. a day as well. I also need to be a mom, office employee, homeschool teacher to Jason, and co-op preschool teacher.

It always helps me to list things out, so thanks!

How do your days look? -Becky

My blog had a birthday too

With all the crazy stuff going on I forget that in Aug. my blog was 1 year old! Yipee! It has been a great year. Thanks for all of you who are following our story! -Becky

Hello! Please pray:

tomorrow starts our homeschooling co-op

pray for all parents & students to be healthy & safe

pray for all to run smoothly

pray specifically for Jason as this is all new to him

pray for me teaching preschool at co-op

pray that I can continue to be awake before 7:00am

pray I do not have trouble waking the kids tomorrow

pray I am not angry

pray that I do not yell at my kids

pray as I am sad (about break with Duane)

pray also for me getting back to aerobics tomorrow night

pray for our first class of First Place Bible study which is also tomorrow night

pray as I am so tired!!!! -Becky

More happy birthdays

Happy Birthday to my sister Samantha, who is 19 today, and my Grandma, who is 84 today!!!

Grandma
Samantha & I (yes she is taller than me)

Jason passed

Jason passed his hunting test. I am so proud of him! He had to get up at 6:00 am and did not want to go, but he did and now he is super glad! -Becky

Visit with stepfather Gary

Gary, my stepfather who is my sister Samantha's dad, and was married to my mom from when I was 6, until I was 18, came for a visit the other day. I am living in his childhood home, so I think he was a little shocked at how we have changed things (or about the mess? lol.) It was nice to visit with him. He was such an awesome dad to us growing up. He now lives in Arizona. -Becky

Back to School

Jason-5th Grade
Joshua-Kindergarten

On that note

My previous post is about money, so now I am going to ask you to prayfully consider supporting me in the WALK FOR LIFE. It is a fundraiser for our local pregnancy center, where I came to know the Lord 10 years ago (Oct. 1998.) PTL!!!

They do so much check out there website, Solutions Pregnancy Center

They are all amazing and mostly volunteers who care about the woman and men who are in unplanned pregnancy situations. They offer free pregnancy tests, counseling, parenting classes, mentoring, baby stuff (new and used, like diapers and cribs, and clothes.) And they do so much more. They minister to the spirit as well as the physical (kind of hard to hear about Jesus when your baby is hunger or needs diapers, they meet these needs.)

I will be taking donations through firstgiving at my fundraising page. Or you can email me jason121097@yahoo.com to give a pledge amount (leave full name, address, and pledge amount in email.) Thanks!

-Becky

my devotion today

Luke 12:34 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:34

Jesus gives us a principle of spiritual investment: we gain freedom from money's power by using money for His kingdom's priorities. Instead of trying to serve God and money, we need only use our money to serve God.

This is from a devotion in my Bible, and I thought I would share it. -Becky

one more thing

Sorry, I have one more prayer request (for now.) Please pray as Duane and I are on a break. I need prayer for God's will on all of that. I am not sure if we should continue to get to know each other or not. He wants to move here, but I don't see how practically all that would work out (not move in with me of course, but get his own place or share a house or apartment with someone.) So I feel a break will help me focus on God and give my questions all to HIM. Thanks! -Becky

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Today my awesome mom has a birthday! Mom I love you! Have a great day! -Becky

more prayer-not so urgent

Hi! Tomorrow Jason is taking his hunting test for his hunting license. Pray if it is God's will that he would pass. If it is not God's will at this time, pray he would not get discouraged. Also please say a praise that Scott (my stepfather) is so involved with both my boys and does these special things, like hunting with them. He really is a blessing to us. Thanks! -Becky

prayer request

Hi! We need prayer. Jason's dad, Jason has been in and out over the past 2 years and it has been hard on little Jason (my son) in that he misses his dad. However, big Jason has made some choices that have not been the greatest.



Please pray for big Jason & his wife, Donna to come to know the Lord. Pray for health issues in there house.



Please pray for my son who feels left behind, and that his dad does not care about him.



Pray for me, to trust God fully and not feel bullied by big Jason. Pray that I can speak the truth in love. Pray that God would speak through me. Pray that my son would be spared any further harm from either parent regarding this situation.



Pray if things do not turn out the way I hope, that I would have peace about that too.



I especially today and tomorrow, need the courage to speak to him without feeling so sick inside (I don't know why but that is how I feel when I have to talk to him.)



Thank you! -Becky

another frugal tip

Hi! I had run out of hand soap, of which we use alot of. I tried to refill our pump with dish soap full strength, but it was too slippery for kids to wash with. So I tried it mixed with water, still no good. I do wash my hands with dish soap all the time at the kitchen sink, but for some reason is was not working with the kids slippery hands in the bathroom.
So I thought I was going to have to buy some hand soap, but I read online to use regular bar soap (small amount) with water. So I actually had a sliver left of our bar soap in the shower. I threw it in our hand soap and filled it with water. After 2 days it is now great hand soap. It was free, in that I would have probably tossed that last soap sliver (or threw it in my bucket that I soak rags in.) But still, it works great, and I avoided buying something once again.

Also I shaved the other day with my organic soap. First, I lathered up really good with my dollar store loofah thing. Then I shaved my legs and the results were great. Of course my kids were not home so that helped (not having them walk in bathroom every few minutes.) So I no longer need to buy shaving cream. I still am unsure about the disposable razors, but I read online to store razor upside down in a little baby oil after use to keep blade from oxidizing so quickly. I will try that.

So soap is great! Of course, I am not sure these will work with every soap, but organic soap is great!!!! Plus I just found a place I can buy some that are seconds (not perfect, or good enough for retail, but still great for personal use. I think I will order a block and be set for the next year.) Go here to check it out yourself. -Becky

Matthew

This is my brother Matthew, I have not met him yet, but I can't wait too. Isn't he a cutie?