Tuesday, September 16, 2008

stress

Hello! Boy do I really feel squeezed right now. I am trying to adjust to being a single mom who works outside the home two days a week, homeschools, and does homeschool co-op, and so on and so on. It is all too much. Since alot is new I have not fallen into a good schedule. My office job is going well, I feel that when I am there working I am confident and get what I need to done. The co-op is going great. I love teaching the preschool kids. It is so much fun. Plus I have another teacher, who is great with the kids. Joshua has adjusted very well to Kindergarten.

My problem areas are as followed:

-homeschooling not working well (with me and Jason)
-stress about finances
-getting to bed by 11:00 and up by 6:30
-getting Josh to school by 8:30 and picking him up by 3:00
-keeping up with Josh's homework and school events (I missed back to school night last night, I didn't even know about it)
-keeping house clean & laundry done
-my time with the Lord
-my exercise time
-work schedule needs adjusting (as per my jobs request)

I know clearly that the first thing I need to do is commit every morning to God. This will probably alleviate lots of my stress (which I need to give to Him anyway.)

I think I just am so overwhelmed. I am not feeling that great the past few days (could be stress?) I think I have developed allergies, but not sure. Plus today I found out big Jason called the therapist. Ultimately, I want him involved with his son. But it makes my stomach hurt to think about me having to see or talk to him. I know I should not let one person have that much control, but that is how I feel. Plus, tonight Josh had soccer at 5:00, I had aerobics at 6:00, then Bible study at 7:00, but no sitter (so the kids would have had to come with me.) With me feeling sick on top of all that I said Josh was not going to soccer, I was not going to aerobics, and I cancelled Bible study.

I feel a bit relieved as I plan to put the kids to bed early and go to bed early myself, but guilty that I am being so irresponsible with commitments lately. I feel like God wanted me to focus on Jason & Joshua, but that that is not really happening. I want to put God first, be a good mom, but also have me time. Is this possible?

I hate living in this survival mode. I want to overcome.

God, please help me see clearly how you want my days to go Lord. Lord, please continue to find a way for us financially.
Lord, I pray big Jason does not fight me on everything and if he does you give me strength.
I pray that you would show me how to homeschool Jason effectively and parent effectively as well.
Lord, I do not want to forget that I know how blessed we are.
I thank you for my boys and our home.
I thank you for our family, church family, and friends.
So many people are helping me to raise my boys, please bless them Lord.

Help me to get some rest and face tomorrow head on, and with you accomplish your will.

In Jesus Name -Amen!


-Becky

1 comments:

which friend is this said...

I am sorry your having such struggles, I would love to make things easier for you, but I really just don't know how too. You are putting so much on yourself perhaps too much

But I love you and I am here for whatever I can be
Love MOM