Happy 10th Birthday Jason!

Today is Jason's 10th birthday. I can not believe it. I remember being pregnant with him, the anticipation, and expectations. I can recall my labor, where I decided that I could not do it and wanted to stop, but since I could not somehow I got through. Jason came out screaming. He was so loud his grandparents heard him in the lobby. And I recall the first moment he was laid on my chest. He was so skinny and small, and mine. I was afraid to change him in the hospital into his going home outfit, I thought I'd break him or something. The nurse changed him for me so quickly and effortlessly. I told her I was scared to take him home and she asked me why. I said I did not know what I was doing and she said you'll learn. She was confident I could care for this little boy. Me I am still not too sure.

This morning I made Jason his favorite breakfast (except I forgot to buy orange juice) and gave him his gift. As I hugged him and said my little boy, he said I am not little anymore, I am double digits. This hurts as it seems only yesterday he was so small in my arms, yet it also feels worlds away at times, too. The mistakes I've made and the good things too, are all shaping this little man to who he will be. As his mom I feel personal responsible for it all, but I know in reality it is God. God knew of Jason and loved him long before I even existed. God knew that by my mistakes in life Jason & I would come to know HIM. God turned something not so smart, into something amazing. Jason is amazing. He has a heart for those less fortunate, and cares so deeply for his brother. He loves to talk and laugh, and play games. He enjoys reading, which blesses my heart. He is a hard worker when he needs to be and is really funny. He can make me laugh, but he especially cracks up his brother.
Through all the heartache and mistakes I have made, I am so blessed to have two wonderful boys. I would not trade a day of my past if it meant not having them.
Have a great day! -Becky