Guest Post by Sylvia

This is a guest post from Sylvia, who is on another blog my mom started:

I am 57, almost 58. I was married for 35 years to a man 17 years older, was with him since I turned 21. He died in 2008. I have stepdaughters very close to my own age, and their kids range from 6 to 31. Also more steps and stepgrandkids. It's not a family tree, it's a family forest.

I have worked in service jobs my whole life, either retail or food service, sometimes both at once. Currently I work in food service at a private women's college on the east coast. And for now, it is the only job I have, lol.

When my husband died, an event I thought I was well prepared for, since he was ill for quite some time, I found myself planning for the end of my own life. I don't mean I wanted it to end, I mean I set up my trust, started simplifying my assets, started to write my end of life plan. And then I stopped. And I had no idea why I stopped. It all just got to be too much, but I wasn't really aware of that.

I started doing more things at church, seeing different people, keeping up with my hospice support groups, etc. And then December 2008 our section of the world was hit by the worst ice storm in a hundred years. I had no power for 7 days. I moved into a motel, told my work I was staying with family, told my family I was staying at the college where I work, and only told my brother where I really was. Everyday before work I drove up into the hills to make sure my house was okay. And after work I sat in the motel and cried, thinking I was going to lose my house. Up to that point I had started listening to people who hammered at me to think about getting the heck out of the hills and moving down into city. Yeah, as if I could afford that. I didn't know how I could afford my mortgage payment, [too young to get my husband's social security], but I darn sure knew I couldn't afford anything in the city, rents are $1200 and up for an apartment!!

So this ice storm and coming close to losing my house proved to me I wanted to stay here. So, how to do that. I had heard that this man at church who I knew slightly, was pretty smart about electronics and plumbing, and had helped some other widows from church set up generators. So as soon as I got a Sunday off from work I went to church and walked up to him and started asking questions about generators. I knew nothing about this man.......but now know that he had in fact asked people about me months ago and was told I was married, but my husband was dying. So he never pursued me. And then he was away from the church for a few months when my husband died so he didn't know that.

Long story short, we are now deeply in love. It took me a long time to get over feeling like I was somehow cheating on my late husband. I told all the kids, and frankly the stepkids were not so good about it, but the grandkids, after checking him out, lol, are delighted. I laugh and tell them they are just glad they won't have to take care of me in my old age. We are in love "with God", and so far have chosen to not live together. Hardest thing I have ever done to be truthful. But good things are worth waiting for. I needed the one year point of Bob's passing to happen, which it did at the end of the summer. Now we talk about a future together, but we are spending this time learning about each other and spending time in the Word. Gosh, I had a lot of baggage I was unaware of, I had never thought about a relationship this late in life, and all the stuff people bring with them.

Anyway, I now have a second set of step-kids so to speak, who think I am a gift from God, their dad was so lonely and miserable for so long. His ex-wife has a mental illness that went undetected for years, and they have all spent time in therapy. Some of the stories make me wonder how this man and his kids survived, but they did. He got them out of the situation, got custody of them, took care of her two from a previous marriage....as he puts it, he's 55, been through Hell, and it's his time now. How wonderful that our Lord set us together. We live 2.2 miles away from each other. Honestly, even if I were not a believer, I would have to know this is from God.

That's where my life is at right now! I'm desperately trying to pay down my mortgage debt, because he is pretty much debt-free and I'm not anxious to bring my debt into a new marriage. Yes, we speak of that often!! And I know the bible preaches about getting out of debt.

So my daily concerns are the same as most of the people who read Becky's blog: stay in the Word, love our Lord, and live below my means.

I enjoy reading about other people's lives and struggles, knowing we're not alone. I hope my story shows people that when you least expect it, God knows your needs and supplies it for you.

Sylvia