Saturday, October 9, 2010

My friend, Chris

I went to the hospice center to see my mentor and friend, Chris today. She is dying. She is paralyzed from tumors on her spine. She is hurting. She can barely talk. I hate to see her in pain like this. It is so sad.

I have to wonder what is God doing? This woman loves Him. She serves Him. She is the light we are all called to be. I have never heard her complain, or gossip. She is always smiling. She has been a huge blessing to my life. She has been a great role model as well.

About a year and a half ago she was fine. A simple persistent cough took her to the doctor. Even with the cancer diagnosis doctors were so hopeful. But they were wrong. The cancer has spread. She is dying and it is happening so fast. Just last week while in the hospital she was smiling and telling her family and hospital staff about Jesus. Now today she can barely utter a word or keep her eyes open.

Chris is 55 years old. Her kids are between 21 and 29 years old (she has 3.) This is so unfair to them and to her. My mom said today it is a blessing she raised them and they all had a great relationship (they all did.) I agree, but now they are being robbed of the relationship turning from mother and child to one of friendship. I know how important my mom is to me, I can't fathom being without her.

As I type I look at a picture of Chris, with her beautiful smile. And I wait. I wait to hear that a miracle has occurred and she is healed. And yet I also wait to hear the news of her passing. I wait to cry. I wait to rejoice (rejoice if she is healed or that she will be with the King of kings.) I imagine I will do a bit of both.

The thing is I am not good at waiting.

Please pray for Chris, pray He would remove the tumors. Pray she would be pain free. Pray for her husband, Doug, her son, Michael, and her two daughters, Jackie, and Lauren. Pray for my church as we are all at a loss. Pray for me, as losing Chris will be hard and reminds me already of all the pain of losing Eric.