relaxing evening

Tonight I sat down and ate dinner (scrambled egg sandwiches and kiwi fruit) with my boys. I had to force myself to sit and not clean, fold laundry, etc ( I love my kids, but my mind is constantly thinking about all I have to do.) Well, I actually listened to them talk and guess what? no one screamed or cried or fought. It was amazing. I am home with my kids all day but I guess I am not available to them all day and maybe they act out because of it (or because they are wicked little sinners-lol!) Seriously, it was nice. Then after dinner we walked to the school for the family night of the book fair. Yes, gasp, we walked in this 20 degree weather, but we survived and I got some exercise in. The boys each got a book and we bought one for each of there class rooms. I am a sucker for books. They are one of the few things I spend lots of money on. It makes me so happy that Jason loves to read, as I do as well. Joshua loves to be read too and also to "read" to himself. Actually Jason still enjoys being read to. It is an activity we all enjoy as a family.
The best part, when we got home I told the boys it was bed time. The boys got there pj's on and I prayed and talked and cuddled with each of them and by 8:42pm Joshua was asleep. This is early and we had no yelling, getting up, etc. I guess the extra outside play tired him out. I am so happy. Jason went in his bed, but I think he is still up. He has trouble falling asleep as his mind does not shut off easily (nor does mine.) But he just reads and relaxes which is good too.
I feel good, better than my previous AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! post.

And yeah tomorrow is Friday and I have a free sitter tomorrow night and am going out! YEAH! -Becky

ps- I accomplished 3 things on my if I have time, but needs to get done to do list today!

Bacon Salt

Hello! This is a weird post, but I like supporting small business. This is a company that sells a product that makes things taste like bacon, but I believe it is Kosher & vegetarian. I don't like bacon, but my boys love it, so I may try it out. Check out there blog:
http://www.baconsaltblog.com/ -Becky

ABOUT BEING A SINGLE PARENT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

We're back

Hi! Jason & I went to PA this weekend to see a play at the Sight & Sound theater. We saw Daniel & the Lion's Den. The show was so good. The drive was good, the weather was great on Saturday. I am glad we waited till Saturday to go. Jason & I had a nice relaxing weekend. I think he enjoyed himself. I did, but was super tired picking up Joshua last night, but he had to punish me for going away and was bad last night & today. But I needed the time with Jason anyway.


Our hotel, it is shaped like a ship, and has an indoor pool!


Jason in the hotel room bunk bed. He loved deciding to sleep on the top or bottom. The room also had a queen bed for me. Yeah!


Jason eating a twix and watching cable tv. We were pretty excited about all those channels. Isn't that why most people stay in a hotel, to watch tv? LOL


The only shot of me and Jason on the trip, too bad it is so horrible! I should have someone else to take a picture of us.


Dangerous ducks. These guys did not want Jason on playground or me on the road. It was funny!

snow day

Today we had a snow day. It started snowing around 4:00am. I got up at 6:30am and shoveled the sidewalk and cleared my car, then I took my shower and got ready for first daycare child who usually arrives at 7:00am. Her mom called at 7:30am to say she was not coming. I was actually too awake to go back to sleep and was unsure if next daycare child would come. So I watched a movie. Joshua was still asleep and Jason was playing his video games. My house was so quiet. I watched Little Miss Sunshine which I am not sure if I liked or not. I liked the family should stick together part of it. But it had too many curses.
Joshua finally woke up at like 9:30am. Just around then other daycare child's mom called to say he was not coming either. Yeah no work!
But of course today Jason & I were planning to go to PA. For his birthday I got him tickets to Daniel & the Lion's Den at Sight & Sound Theater in PA. We were going to drive down tonight and stay in a hotel with an indoor pool.The show is tomorrow. Now we did not go because the weather was bad today, and is supposed to get worse tonight. It is about a 3 hour drive. Hopefully we can leave in the morning, but only if roads are clear and not icy. I hope we get to go. I really want to see the show and spend special time with Jason. It is hard to spend time alone with him since Joshua is always around. Joshua is staying home with my mom, he is too young for the show.
So pray we can go tomorrow and for safe travels. Thanks! -Becky

What to say

Today in the car Joshua asked me if his dad did not want to be his dad anymore. How do you answer that? It breaks my heart. He has seen his dad about 5 times his whole life, for about 1-2 hours each time. He is going to be 5 in May, so this is not much time. But still he loves to talk about and think about and make cards for and call his dad. I let him talk about his dad, send cards and pictures, and call his dad whenever he asks. His dad usually does not answer, but we leave a message. It makes me so sad. Who would not want to be a part of this super cute, smart, funny boys life? I do not get it. And as I was putting Joshua to bed he prayed, "God I wish my mom would marry my dad again." Then after he prayed he told me dad could sleep against wall in my bed and me in the middle and he would sleep on the other side of me. What do I say to this? It makes me sad too. But I am so glad we have our heavenly father and I tell Joshua that God is his father, but at 4 years old can he really get that? I am 28 and I still have trouble with that one. I pray God would help us both know how much we are loved. -Becky

Giving Christ First Place Bible Study

A few weeks ago I started a Bible study at my church called First Place. It is about giving Christ First Place in your life, especially in the area of food and exercise. I especially need this as I'd like to lose weight, but more importantly want to grow in my walk with the Lord. The program is based on 9 weekly commitments:
1) attendance at weekly meeting
2) encouraging your prayer partner and other group members
3) daily prayer
4) daily Bible reading
5) memorize 1 verse a week
6) daily Bible study (about 10 min. a day)
7) Live It Plan (food exchange) which includes drinking 8 glasses water a day
8) recording daily food intake, water intake, and accomplished goals
9) exercise 30 min. 5 x's a week (or more)

I so needed an accountability group like this. I want to focus on God, not so much the weight lose (which would be nice as well.) My walk with Him needs to be closer. I am excited as today was the first day of Bible study which I did. I still need to do my daily prayer time, but I also read my Bible, and encouraged my prayer partner. I drank more than half my water, and wrote all my food. I have not exercised yet ( I HATE EXERCISE, so pray for me on this one.)

Thanks for helping me be more accountable. -Becky

Just a scare

Well, I went into Jason & Josh's room to get Josh's clothes this morning and I remembered that the heat bulbs on Jason's lizrd cage had burnt out, so I wanted to check on the lizard. She appeared to be sleeping, but usually when she is asleep you can see her breath. So I poked her and nothing, I moved the food and water bowl (usually this signals her she is getting fed), and still nothing. I realized her eyes looked half open. It hit me, she was dead. I felt horrible as I should have bought new bulbs or had backups (except they are $20 each and we need 2.) I killed the lizard. And even though I am the one who takes care of her, I do like her. She is so calm and she never talks back. Well, I called my mom and she was going to have Scott come remove the body. I did not want Jason to know today as he has a school project due tomorrow and I wanted him to finish it.
Well, I decided to empty the food and water bowl and as I did I thought she moved. But I figured I just shook the cage. To be sure I poked her again. Well, she opened her eyes. Turns out she was hibernating (they do this in colder weather to preserve energy.) Well, I gave her some fresh water and food and she ate it right up, plus I put in a temporary heat lamp so she can stay warm until I get to the pet store. What a relief that I do not have to have that talk with Jason today or tomorrow. I guess I like her more than I thought, cause I was a bit sad about her dying. The things we do for our kids. -Becky

feeling bad

I just slept through church and of course I am feeling bad. Why do I love to sleep so? I so enjoy church and every time I am there feel great. It is so important for me to go, but today I just kept hitting the snooze button. The boys were playing a game and were so quiet. But now my heart feels so guilty. I need time to worship the Lord, not more time to sleep. I think satan loves to whisper in my ear and when he does I tend to get confused. I am sure this is a sign that I am so far from God. I am confused about other things too. I think I hear God telling me one thing about my future job, but then other times I hear the "you are not good enough", or "you can't". I know that is satan, but I get confused when I hear "what about your kids?" Is that God or satan? Also I am confused about dating. I though about a year ago God was telling me maybe I was ready, but now I am so unsure. I don't think I really am. I am sure you are confused, but believe me not as much as I am.
I know this though the way my heart feels right now I know I was wrong. I know I have sinned because I feel further away from God right now. This is the opposite of how I want to feel.
I need God everyday, over tv, sleep, the computer, food, and other things. He has to come first and last, so I can know what His will for my life is.
Cause feeling so sad certainly can not be His will.
Ok, now you know I am crazy, or satan tells me I am, who knows, but I do know I am so confused. -Becky

My awesome mom

Hello! My mom came over around 5:30 last night and kicked me out for a half hour. She helped my boys cook me one of my favorite things (chicken cutlets.) They also set the table with nice valentines napkins and plates. They used my good glasses (plastic wine glasses, they are great.) They served me my dinner and poured my water for me. They also made chocolate covered strawberries and bananas for dessert. It was awesome. The best valentines EVER! Then my mom did the dishes. My mom is so awesome. She is always thinking of ways to make others feel better. I love her and could not make it without the love and support she has given me my whole life. It really makes me be able to overlook how she "borrowed" my favorite James Taylor cd. Sorry old joke we have.
But seriously we all need someone in our lives that is always in our corner no matter what. This is a glimpse of how much God loves us. God loves us no matter what we do or say or how we act. Now this is not an excuse to sin, because He wants us to grow closer to Him, but nothing we can do can make Him love us less. And I am so thankful for this. I am also glad he gave me my mom who loves me no matter what, too.
And of course God gave me the two sweetest little valentines (Jason & Joshua.)
The best part was at dinner when my mom said let's say something you like about mommy. She asked Joshua first, he said UGHH, I don't know. Jason said I was nice, so Josh said I was just going to say that. My mom said what does Mommy do nice for you? Again we got a blank stare from Joshua. I am so glad he appreciates me. But it was funny. And who doesn't need a good laugh now and again? I know I do. Thanks God for the moments that remind me how much you love me, and thanks for giving me my mom. -Becky

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Joshua made this at school, it is so pretty!

My valentines!

Jason, Joshua, & Joanna in snow

my boys were arguing over who gets to clean Aunt Joanna's car, they are so sweet

Finally Snow

YUMMY RICE PUDDING

HI! If you like rice pudding try this:
prep time 5 minutes
cook time 30 minutes
serves 4

1 cup cooked rice (great way to use left over rice)
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
2 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup milk

preheat oven to 325 degrees. combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl. pour into a greased loaf or casserole pan. bake at 325 degrees for 20-30 min, or until center is firm. serve warm.
optional drizzle honey over top for added flavor; also you can add raisins 1/2 cup or walnuts before cooking. YUMMY!

I always double this recipe and add about 10 extra minutes to cook. We love this stuff warm or cold. I eat it for breakfast. I have not tried brown rice yet.

estimated cost per serving 3 cents (3/4 cup is a serving.) This recipe is from Miserly Meals cookbook I have.

Once I made this but forgot to turn on my oven, I kept wondering why it was not cooking, all the other times this stuff is great! LOL! -Becky

MIKE HUCKABEE

Check out this presidential candidate

http://www.mikehuckabee.com/?FuseAction=About.101

I do not have too much time to follow all the candidates, which is why I am glad I already know who I am voting for. Please read up about Mr. Huckabee. Thanks! -Becky

PERMISSION TO MOTHER

Hello! I wanted to share a new book that I think many parents would be interested in. It is called Permission to Mother. The author is super nice and my friends pediatrician. She has a blog that I throughly enjoy. Check her out:
http://permissiontomother.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-to-find-permission-to-mother.html

I just ordered her book via Amazon. Free shipping right now! -Becky

JOY & LOVE

Today I took Joshua took to the doctor's. His allergies are acting up because even though it is Feb., the weather has been so warm. I have to put him back on allergy meds and saline his nose four times a day to keep his ears clear. Is that too much information? Sorry.
This morning Jason went to work on his car project for his odeyssy of the mind class. He has a competetion in March. It is a cool logic type class. I think he enjoys it. He is in it with his best friend.
While he was still gone and after the doctor's I watched Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls. It was good. A bit unrealistic and too happy endingish, but in a movie I like a happy ending.
Hey I'd like on in life, too. But what does that really mean? I think we are all searching for happiness, but this is not what God wants us to do. Happiness is an emotion. If we watch ourselves we will feel happy and sad every day. But what we really should be seeking is contentment and joy in the Lord. Joy is different in unlike happiness it should not go away. Just like love, the world's view of love is an emotion, but God's view is a that LOVE IS A CHOICE! Even when that feeling fades (the lust of it) we still are there. LOVE IS A COMMITTMENT! God knows this and shows this every single day. Of course He knows it, He created love. What are you seeking, happiness or joy? Don't get me wrong happiness is nice, but joy and love in the Lord are way better. So I ask are you joyful? God is waiting to fill you with His love and joy all you have to do is ask, and then keep asking every single day (this is the hard part for me.) Good night! -Becky

Just sent my taxes in

I just sent my taxes in, YEAH! I am getting a refund, yeah again! It is all earmarked for something, but still it is nice to be able to plan ahead. I am using some of it for our great adventure theme park season passes for the summer. We love that place, the rest is not for fun. But that is ok with me.

What about you? Did you file yet? Do you owe? Are you getting a refund? What will you do with it? Anything fun?

I love discussing finances, I think because God has so been so faithful and has blessed us so in the past 10 years, I want to share how awesome He is.
Good night! -Becky

Letting Go

How do you deal when you know something is not right, but you want it anyway? When God says no and you are saying yes. I find myself in that situation again. I want to be in a relationship, I want to be married, but God does not have that in His plan for me right now. Honestly, this is what happened when I did get married. God said not yet, but I just could not wait. This is serious lack of Faith on my part, I did not trust God's plan and took it upon myself to show Him mine. God knew my future, my heartache, my struggles long before I ever did. He wanted to spare me the pain. That's the thing, when God says no it is not because He does not love us, but the exact opposite, it's because of how much He does love us. He wants the best for us. His ways are best! Yet, still my flesh is weak, my heart is lonely. I know it is sad to say Jesus is not enough, so I have to work on being content as I am and let Jesus fill my heart to overflowing, so if He ever will's me to be married I will be full of His love to share. Waiting is really hard though!!! -Becky

HELLO

Anybody out there? -Becky

finally got some sleep

I went to bed around 10:30 and slept until 7:00 (my daycare kids were not coming till 8:00 & 8:30 today.) I feel rested. But I still need to start going to bed by 10:30 / 11:00 every night! Getting up at 6:00am is no fun for me, but I feel way better if I have had at least seven hours of sleep (ten would be better.)
Today we made onion soup and chocolate chip cookies. I am trying to use up all the food in my house. The soup was good itself but I usually put swiss in it, since I was out of swiss I used another cheese. That made the soup gross. I will be getting some swiss to add for tomorrow's lunch. I love a good swiss cheese.
I was just talking with some ladies about food shopping bills and saw some posts on other blogs. We have been sharing some tips to keep the cost low. My question to you is how much do you spend on food each week? (and how many does that feed?) Do you clip coupons, and how do you save money at the grocery store?
I spend about $50 a week on food only and $20 a month on non groceries (shampoo, contact stuff, etc-I will say my mom buys our paper goods cause we usually split a case and she HATES when I have no paper towels-Thanks mom!.) My mom also buys the kids fav. cereals and junk food.
So what about you? -Becky

off to bed

It is 9:30 and both my kids are asleep. It's amazing! I just got home from aerobics and my First Place Bible study. Even though I am so tired the aerobics felt good. I am amazed at how I am actually getting some of the steps now (only a few-still having problems with the whole left right thing-LOL!) Even though I hate going I like the way I feel afterwards. Maybe there is something to exercise after all (YOU THINK?) I am going to read and then go to bed. -Becky

tired

I was on the phone till about 1:00 last night, why do I love to talk so? And then Joshua woke up at 4:00am and did not fall back asleep until 6:00am. Which is just about the time I had to get up. I am tired. I know, I know it is my fault to be on the phone so late, but I like actually talking to a grown up now and again. Especially when we joke and I laugh. I LOVE to laugh. But I digress, the point is I AM TIRED! I managed to get Jason off to school, we even chatted as no one was interrupting us. Joshua is still sleeping of course. My first daycare girl is late. My second daycare boy does not arrive until 8:30-9:00. This is ok with me. I wonder though how I will stay awake all day, and then go to aerobics tonight. AHHHHH!!!!! I think I will practice the sleeping with your eyes open technique. Lol! -Becky

only 3 hours tonight- YEAH!

after putting Joshua to bed at 5:45 he finally stopped getting up and yelling "Freedom" at 8:45. YEAH! The house is now quiet. Thank God for the little stuff! -Becky

Yes, I am weird

I just had a nice chat with my ex husband. I don't have too many of those (we don't talk much) anyway it got me thinking about how I talk to people from my past (yes, sadly some no longer that I do think about, an old friend just messaged me on myspace tonight, which was so nice.) But the people I am talking about are those who hurt me. For a long time I let those people have a hold on me, but over the years I have let all that go, but instead of forgiving and forgetting, I actually have stayed in touch or gotten back in touch with them. One person in particular has really been on my mind lately. I have chatted with this person and pray for this person often. I actually want them to know that they are on my mind and that I am praying for them, and that I have forgiven them. Maybe they don't care, but I do. God has put it on my heart to care.
As for my ex husband sure you think I have to talk to him, we have a son together, but sadly we do not talk much about Joshua, he just does not really have a relationship with Joshua (I try), but we talk about other stuff. His relationhip with the girl he left me for has recently ended and finally has him thinking about why his relationships fail (don't worry I told him why ours did-him having the girlfriend sure didn't help) but seriously what reason do I have for listening to him talk about his pain, after he hurt me. I don't, but through God I care. I can't really explain it any other way. I want to share the forgivness God has given me I guess. So many times I have done so many things wrong, yet every single time God forgives me. It amazes me. It makes me want to share that. I know how easy it would be to burn bridges and let memories fade, but I find it more important to mend those bridges and even try to cross over them now and again. -Becky

interesting day

I have had an interesting day. Joshua was in a rotten mood and misbehaved all day. Maybe because I let him stay up late last night or his ear still hurts, but still those are just excuses. He did all sorts of naughty things. I am impressed at myself how calm I stayed, which is no easy task when you are trying to keep a 4 year old in time out and he gets up every time you walk or look away and yells "FREEDOM." I wanted to laugh and cry at the same moment. But I tried to hold it in and not react as this is exactly what he wanted. I calmly took him back to his room each time. It is now 7:30 he is still in bed, where he is staying until tomorrow, he is quiet for now, but I will not let my guard down, I anticipate, oh wait there he is,hold on,... I'm back, I just keep putting him back in bed without talking. Those of you who know me know this is hard for me. But I must prevail!
What I really want to do is go to bed, but the boys have to actually be asleep first. LOL! -Becky

I am practicing smiling

I am taking pictures of myself smiling lately, it feels so nice to smile. I promise I am not conceited. -Becky

My boys are ecstatic

Hello! My boys are so happy the Giants won the superbowl. Jason watched the whole game, I watched two minutes. Yeah me! Joshua went to bed last night without getting up once, yippee!!!!!
We are all tired today. I have to start going to bed before 1:00am again. -Becky

back from CT scan

CT scan went great, Joshua came with me and much to my surprise sat in the hallway all alone and waited for me. He did not cry or anything, he just was practicing writing his phone number.
Now I just have some bloodwork that I have to get done on a day I can go before I eat anything.
Also pray as I am scheduled my ankle surgery March 10th, but so far insurance company is still not paying for it. Ahhhhh! That is sort of important. LOL!
Well, we are going to straighten the house, rest, and then kids are going to my mom's so I can go to work at 5:00.
Have a great day! -Becky

Prayer

Hello! I have a CT scan today, am a bit nervous. Also need prayer for more time with the Lord and living His will, not mine. -Becky

GREAT MOOD!

I am in such an awesome mood today! Just wanted to share. -Becky

Joshua

Jason

Jason & I clowning around