Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Day 3 of VBS

I have made it through three days of getting up and out of the house by 8:30am. Yesterday seemed easier in being at church and I thought today was too, but when I got home I was hit with such sadness again and I have been in tears since about 2:00pm. I was calm and relaxed when I came home, but that quickly passed.

At one point today I was sitting on the couch crying and someone said, "it's ok.", but no one was there and it was not my kids. The weird thing is I felt Eric for a second but he would have never said that to me. Is was surreal. I guess I wanted him to be around so bad.

I am not sure if I have ever felt this drained, but my soul seems so exhausted I feel I could sleep for days and still be tired. Last night I was able to get to sleep by 2:00am, and I slept until 7:30am, so that was better than it has been. But tonight I am hoping to be asleep by 11:30pm, so I can get up at 7:30am. I so need more sleep.

Overall our church vacation Bible school is going well and my boys are enjoying themselves. I am glad I am there, but it is still so hard to be around so many people. There are 101 in attendance, it is our largest VBS yet. It is amazing. Pray God works in the hearts of all students and teachers alike.



Jeannette said...

Please don't disregard the feeling of Eric being there, he is still with us. He has been in my car, I smell funeral flowers at times when I am driving and I can feel him sitting next to me. Several occurences have happened while I am at home that also leads me to believe he has made his presence known.. embrace the moments

I know the feeling be feeling drained, it doesn happen and the only way to move on is to go through it..
You can't go around or you will miss some of the steps