earned $30 and my week and weaknesses

yesterday I sold 7 DVDs for $30. I had $10 so I was at the $40 I needed, but Jason needed stuff for his science project which cost me $20 (including stopping for ice cream for no reason.) So now I still need to come up with $20 extra dollars by Friday. I think I can do it. I also secured a sitter for Friday night, so I am so excited about that.(no, it's not my mom, she is already sitting tonight 5:30-8:30 while I do aerobics and Bible study and Thur. 7:00-9:00 while I go to an appointment, and she is sitting all day Saturday for Joshua while I take Jason to his state Odyssey tournament-in addition to her own family and working alot, so my mom needs a break. My mom is so awesome though. I love her so much and could not parent without her!)

This week has been awesome, I exercised Tues. at aerobics, an hour at home Wed., an hour Fri., half an hour Sun., and half an hour Mon. I drank 8 glasses of water every day this week. I wrote down everything I ate. I stayed under 2,000 calories a day, some days even meeting my 1,600 calorie a day goal, I prayed daily, read my Bible, and did my study. It was a good week, until late yesterday. Jason "Forget" he had some school work to finish and we had to go to store last night and then start it at 7:00 last night. This is never a good time for Jason to start anything. We were all tired so I was getting angry with him and he was doing sloppy work. I apologized as he went to bed, then I exercised to try and relieve stress. I prayed while I exercised. Then I even went to bed by 11:00pm. But still the bad feelings were with me when I awoke. So the morning was also not good. I realize the closer I get to God the harder satan will work to knock me down and tempt me, so I know I just need more time with God, but it is hard. I feel yucky inside. I want to great each day calm and set the tone for my home and kids. I want to be the best Christian and mom I can be. I want to put God first and my kids next in all I do. But then my old self sneaks in and wants it to be ALL about ME! I want to not be bothered with school projects and cranky kids. I want to sleep in and not clean up after all these kids five minutes after I finished cleaning up after there last mess. ME, ME, ME! I sound like a bratty 6 year old. But I know that ultimately Jesus gave Himself completely, so my goal is to try to grow closer to Him and more like Him. I know this process will last my whole life, but it certainly won't bring me any closer to Him giving in to myself and my selfish desires! Thank God our God is a God of second chances (and third, and fourth, and seventy seventh chances too.) -Becky