need prayer

I am still trying to do the First Place study stuff, and exercise, and drink my water, and write down everything I eat, and stay under 1,600 calories a day. It is not easy for me, pray as I want to be healthier for God & for me. With all the Easter candy others bought my boys I have been doing very bad. I feel bad just throwing it all away, but my kids don't need it either. Joshua wakes up and goes right for the candy lately. This is no good. Maybe all the candy is why he has been so naughty! (or my lazy parenting lately?) Sometimes it seems just getting through the day is enough without adding focusing on my walk with the Lord, and leading my kids spiritually, but these are the two most important things that I must be doing everyday. Everything else (cooking, cleaning, etc) is secondary. Why is is hard for me to put God first in my life? He is so worth that. Pray that tomorrow I get up and spend time with God first thing. Thanks! -Becky

our favorite special treat

ice cream plus

root beer, we prefer Stewart's, but store brand is ok too

equals two happy kids

us at the beach today

shells in sand
me taken by Jason
Jason & Joshua
Beach (New York City in background)

another heartbreaking conversation

Yesterday Jason reminded me that he was bored at my wedding and so he played his new gameboy (this was in 2003), Joshua asked if I was marrying his dad. I said yes, then he started to ask me why I was not married to his dad anymore, to which I told him his dad didn't want to be married to mommy anymore. I don't want to make him look like a bad guy or glorify him either. I want to tell my boys the truth. I said his dad broke his promise to me and to God to stay married to me. Jason said is Joshua's dad a Christian. I said I thought so. They asked then why did he break his promise. I told them that we all sin, mom yells and stuff, we all sin. We all make mistakes. Joshua said he wants a dad in the house last time we talked about all this and I told him that God is our father but maybe God has another dad for him on earth. Well he has been praying for a dad in the house most every night. So yesterday he said "When will I get the dad God wants me to have?" What can I say, maybe never. But I tell him to keep praying and then I reminded him how blessed we are to have to each other and Grandpa who does fun boy stuff with them. It is so amazing to me how much a 10 and 4 year old get all this, when it still is so hard for me to comprehend. They are so innocent but seem also so wise beyond there years. And they trust God so to answer there prayers. But I want to also let them know God sometimes says no to our prayers. He knows what is best for us and sometimes no is best. He loves us that much to spare us from ourselves, if we obey Him. This is so hard. We think our ways will be the best, or at least I do. But boy have I been wrong. I see time and time again how His ways are the best for me. Too bad I don't always wait and listen myself. Thank God our God is a God of second chances (and third and fourth, and so on.) -Becky

I am having a heart attack!

Jason just came home from his Odyssey of the Mind practice (remember his team placed first in last competition and now on April 12th they are going to the state competitions.) Anyway he told me he wants to go to Camp Halluwasa in July. It is a Christian sleep away camp. My heart is racing, my mind is all a flutter. I think I am having a heart attack. My baby wants to leave me for 5 whole days and nights, and go to a place that I do not know any of the grownups! YIKES! I am not sure what to say. I am so impressed he is not afraid to do such a thing (he is pretty shy) and forget about his meltdowns, medicine, and other things too personal for me to mention. Who will watch him, make sure he brushes his teeth, make sure he is kind, and give him his nightly hug and kiss? What if he gets hurt or sick? And believe me I am not a paranoid mom, I believe in the 30 second rule, I let him, even at 2 climb tall trees. But I was right there. I even let him ride his bike to school and home alone everyday. I let him walk to his friends a few streets down. But then I am only minutes away. Yikes!
I right away told him he would have to come up with at least half the money (it is almost $400 for the week.) Maybe this will deter him, but he already has $27 of his allowance saved and he said he will not spend any of his allowance until he saves the money. And he did save to buy his own Wii ($250) last year.
I feel that heart ache again, maybe it's not really a heart attack but it sure hurts to have my babies growing up. -Becky

PS. Jason is 10, hardly a baby. If you feel led to help to send him to this camp we'd appreciate a donation.

We're back

Joshua did stay in rest the 20 min., so we all went to the movies. Let me say I was expecting to hate the movie, but I loved it. It was so cute. Plus the whole a person's a person no matter how small line reminds us God loves us from conception and He loves every one of us who live on this Earth.






But I was shocked at paying $45 for 6 movie tickets ($7.50 each), what happened to $5 movies. I payed for all the tickets. The kids had to each use there own money for snacks. Breanna & Michael got 2 Slurpee's and nachos $15 total. Danielle got a Slurpee and popcorn $8 total. Jason got candy and a Slurpee $9 total. Josh got candy and a Slurpee $9 total. Me nachos (I love movie theater nachos) $7. So movies 6 people $45 plus snacks 6 people $48, for a total of $93.00 for 2 hours. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I don't usually buy any movie snacks, the kids used all there own money for snacks but still. To put that in prospective, I work Mon.-Fri. from 7:00am-5:30 pm (with no break) that's 10.5 hours a day, times 5 days equals 52.5 hours per week. I make $263 a week. That's over 35% of my weekly pay for 2 hours entertainment. Ok, so I am obsessed with numbers. But I discovered Tues. is $5 any movie all day, so I could have paid $5 x 6 people, $30 for movie and brought all snacks from home for about $10 (including drinks) cutting this movie trip in half. I have learned my lesson. I am so glad that I actually enjoyed the movie though.

Do you ever go to the movies? Do you buy snacks? Or do you bring snacks from home? Do you feel bad if you do?

-Becky

Thursday

Hello! It is Thursday. My kids have had no school since last Thur. Jason is doing great. Joshua is not. He can be so naughty, rude, and demanding. He yells and hits, especially his brother. He can get so angry. It wears me down constantly disciplining him, which I know he is expected. Every time I give in is a victory for him. I need strength to be consistent 100% of the time. Pray for this.

I am working this week, I could not afford to take off and the little girl I watch her mom is working all week. Today I am taking all the kids to the movies, but Josh does not deserve to go after his screaming and yelling and hitting this morning. I wish I could leave him home in bed. I should stay home, but that is not fair to the other kids, and honestly I can't take fighting with him for 2 more hours. He is in rest right now, if he gets up or yells than I told him he is not going to movies, and now I will have to stick to it if he gets up. Tonight he will also go to bed early and he has lost video games for 3 days.

I wish parenting wasn't so hard.

At least I'll get a nap while the kids are watching Horton Hears a Who. LOL! -Becky

my sad song for tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtzcOqv_P-4

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU (Bon Jovi)

not sure why

Here it is 12:23 am, and again I am unable to sleep. I find my self thinking about my older brother, Eric. Maybe because I did not see him this Easter. I don't see him that often although he only lives about 20 min. away, but Christmas and Easter I could count on. I guess I am sad because I did not see him. We were never really close. He was part of the cool crowd and I was not (I did hold my own in high school amongst an entirely different crowd.) It makes me sad as I realize I am not really close with any of my siblings. I wish I was, I wonder if I try harder if it could happen or is it not possible. Kevin, who is only a year younger than me, I always thought I was close with, but I don't really know much about him. My sister Sam used to be my world. I really prayed for a sister for so many years, I felt like she was my own doll for so many years. But when she was 8 I had Jason and I was just too busy for her I suppose. Now she is way too busy for me. Also she is 18 and knows EVERYTHING. It hurts me to see her making bad choices, and also some good ones. As I missed out. That was my choice, yes, but still if I knew then what I know now. I'd hope to make better choices. Kevin and Samantha do seem close. I am glad for that. Eric seems to live in his own world. But I guess we all do. But how could the people I grew up, spent everyday with for so many years, be strangers to me? I question how I could make it different? I pray for them almost daily, but I want to know them. I wonder if that is possible?
It is strange as I am close to my mom (at least I think I am.) I talk to her almost daily, but I wonder is it always about me. Do I take the the time to know her? Actually are any of my relationships about others at all? Or is it all about there role in my life? Sometimes all I can think about it getting through the day or moment even, the relationships get lost in the shuffle. Is it like this with everyone? Or is it just the sadness from listening to 80's music on utube that is getting to me.

Not sure, but I think a call to my siblings tomorrow won't hurt. I can call Kevin or Sam just to say hi, but Eric, not sure. I'll let you know how that goes.

Oh and can anyone recommend some sleep songs off utube? I sure could use some help falling asleep. -Becky

Please leave a comment!

If you are a current reader or new to this blog, leave a comment and let me know what you think and who you are. Thanks! -Becky

ps-to leave a comment click on where it says comments at the end of a post.

Happy Easter!

What a glorious morning as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ. It is so amazing that God loves me & you so much that He sacrificed His son so that we might know Him. Christmas is wonderful in that we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but Easter is extraordinary. Jesus is the only man who died and rose again and walked this earth once more. The prophecy full filled.
My prayer for you today is that you would praise His name this day and all the days of your life. I pray you recognize all your blessings, go ahead tell me some of them. I pray they are too numerous to count. I pray your heart is full of the joy of the Lord. I pray you desire to share that with those you love, dislike, and do not yet know! Share the GOOD NEWS of Jesus Christ! Thank the person who shared Him with you as well.



Dear Lord,

Thank you is not enough for the gift you gave me that first Easter. You sacrificed your son so that I might know you. Thank you for loving me that much. Thank you for the joy you have given me. Thank you for my blessings: wonderful family, loving mom, Jason, Joshua, Eric, Kevin, Sam, Lindsey, Dad, Gary, Scott, all my extended family, my church family, my sisters in the Lord, my friends, my friends who are also my sisters in the Lord, my home, full bellies, no debt, job, desire of my heart to be with my boys as I do that job, patience with small children, creativity you've given me, good health, a car, a yard, a safe neighborhood, and this blog to share you.
Lord, my blessings are many more and again I thank you. I pray that especially today your light would shine through me and my words and actions would be pleasing to you. And I pray I would share you with those I meet. Lord, I love you! -Amen

-Becky

Jason & Josh, believe it or not Jason picked out the matching shirts

us at church this morning

Me & Jason, taken by Josh

Me & Josh, taken by Jason

Me, Jason, & Joshua Easter 2008
me & my beautiful sister Samantha
Boys with bunny cake they decorated
bunny cake

Praise

From Courtney & Brian's blog:
"AMAZING!!!!

After a VERY long day, we came back to the hotel only to be completely and utterly BLOWN AWAY. In one day 3/4 of the money we need to complete the adoption has come in. The agency originally set up for the adoption offered to give us $2,000 back! They heard what was happening and wanted to help. The rest was given by donation. I have been sitting here with tears of joy streaming down my face. I do not even know how to thank you. People have given so generously. Many people I do not even know. We are praising God and it is because of this outpouring of love that our precious little boy will soon come home. His life is forever changed because of each of you. Tonight as I praise God for His tender mercies, I also pray many blessings on all of you. We are humbled, in awe and incredibly grateful. I have gotten so many e-mails of encouragement, offers of help, and sweet words of love that have ministered to us through these past two days. I cannot explain how supported and loved I feel at this moment. I am blown away at how many people God has brought to rally around us during this time. THANK YOU. From the very bottom of our hearts, we THANK YOU.

It is because of this outpouring that I am pleased to tell you all we have Jameson with us for good now. He is the sweetest little guy. We have watched him come alive and much to our surprise, the quiet, docile little boy we saw yesterday is actually a complete HAM. He is just too precious for words. All day today he would grab our faces and kiss us. I felt like he kept doing it to let us know how happy he is. He fell asleep tonight between us and holding each of our hands in his. He is such a sweet blessing."

Please continue to pray as they travel home and start life with EIGHT children (and one more due end of summer '08.)

To see photos or read more about Camp Girdwood:
http://storinguptreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com/

THANK YOU for all your prayers and if you donated! -Becky

Please Pray!!!

Hello! Happy Spring!
My friends Courtney & Brian are awesome parents and they have felt God lead them to adopt. After adopting two adorable siblings from Russia, they felt lead to adopt from Haiti. After finding an agency, seeing there daughters, and raising the much needed money, they discovered they were unable to adopt these girls due to recent law changes in Haitian adoption. In addition all the money they raised was lost.
Well, they were sad and pray for those two girls in Haiti, but God is so good he allowed them an opportunity to adopt a little boy here in the US. He is 22 months old and they are visiting him now. Well, it may be possible for them to adopt him this week, but they again are trusting God to help with the finances. Please pray for them and ask God if He wants you to help bring this little baby boy into a wonderful, loving family!!!

This is from Courtney's blog:

"Prayers Needed!

Okay Prayer warriors..... last night was a really rough night. We got some really bad news that there are issues with our paperwork and with our state honoring the adoption. Basically, our state will not allow us to come home until we have an agency licensed in our state that will take consent. Well, guess what? In order to do this, we have to pay yet another agency fee! I need as many of you that can to be praying we can get this done. I was in tears most of last night after we heard the insane amount of money several agencies wanted for this consent. I thought we were coming home without our son. I still am not sure how we will do this or how it is going to come together. We finally found an agency last night who can do it for a smaller amount, but we do not have even a penny of this money. We need your prayers majorly. I cannot go home without our little boy! As it stands right now, Brian is going to head home in a couple of days and I am going to stay until this is all sorted out. Please pray for me too, as I am exhausted and I miss my kids at home *so* much. I rarely leave them and I do not like being so far away from them. I have been very weepy and I need the prayers.

Thanks for the prayers and support. It means the world to me.

And I am really sorry to even ask, but if you can find it in your heart to give even $5 or $10 to help cover these extra fees, it would mean so much to us. I just want to bring our baby boy home."

Go to there blog if you want to offer prayers or to donate:
http://storinguptreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com/

THANKS SO MUCH! -Becky

March is half over?

It is Tuesday the 18th. I can't believe March is half over already. I know time does not really fly, but it sure seems to. I can't believe Jason is ten and Joshua will be five on May 17th. I wonder how I get stuff done and how I will get stuff done. I write lists and cross off items one by one and sometimes I just throw the list away and don't complete it. Sometimes I am prepared for stuff, sometimes I am not (more often the latter.) But as spring is arriving I am feeling more hopeful. I am trying to rediscover joy in the Lord and not hopelessness in my circumstances. Not that my circumstances are bad, they just can be overwhelming at times. I am feeling happy and giddy again. I think the sun does that. I am so grateful to be healthy and have made peace with not having my surgery. I am now working on exercise and my First Place study for being healthier and losing weight. This excites me. I actually enjoy my Tues. aerobics now, even though it still hurts. I am working towards exercising more at home as well. It will come. Baby steps is my thoughts on that. If I can add one new habit a month, that is enough (goals: Read Bible daily, pray daily, do daily Bible study, memorize 1 verse a week, write down everything I eat daily, eat 1600 calories a day or less, drink 8 glasses water a day, exercise 30 min. a day-that is 8 goals, so that should take me about 8 months to add them to my life and STICK WITH IT!) This stuff is doable, especially with support group (thanks Charlene, Jackie, Darlene, Janet, & Laura) they are all doing First Place too.
Well not sure of the point of this blog, but I guess I just wanted you to know I am feeling that joy again, not as much as I'd like but it is returning. You can have it too, God is just waiting to fill you with His joy, all we have to do is ask and spend time with Him daily.
Have a great day! -Becky

Cloth Menstrual Pads

Hi!
At the risk of freaking some people out, I feel I must confess that I use cloth menstrual pads. After researching cloth diapers and purchasing a starter kit for a friend as a baby shower gift (she wanted to use cloth) I learned about cloth mama pads. It made sense to me. One, I have very sensitive skin and have had rashes from plastic disposable pads; two' financially it makes sense (a set of cloth pads was about as much as a years worth of disposables -sale price- and they will last 3-5 years, saving me over $200, even if they only last 3 years!); and three, the environment. Disposable diapers and menstrual pads sit in land fills almost forever. I know I use about 30-40 disposable pads every cycle (I have a 7-8 day cycle.) Think of this times 12, then times about 25 years. YIKES! Gross. The same with cloth diapers think of what you throw away every day times 365 times 3 years. EWWW! But even if health & finances are your main reasons for switching to cloth, it makes sense.

The nitty gritty: they are easy to wash, I soak in a bucket of cold water until I wash them and they come out fine. I throw in with towels, or wash alone. I dry on line, but most can be machine dried. Line drying kills germs, as will the dryer. You can Google mama cloth and get lots of sites with useful information and many work at home mom's who make mama cloth. So as an added bonus is you will be supporting a work at home mom too. I recommend:
Mother of Eden Comfort Pads (these are not from a work at home mom, but my favorite pads!) and
www.primmnproperbaby.com work at home mom who makes great mama cloth and cloth diapers

Order cloth pads that are similar to the disposables you buy. Do you get wings, then get cloth with wings. Do you buy extra long? Buy cloth that are 12", 13", or 14".

Email me if you have any other questions.-Becky

great site with more info. http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~obsidian/clothpads/padindex.html

Virus

My computer is infected with a horrible virus. I can barely use it, some very dirty stuff keeps popping up. I am not sure what to do. I can't let the kids see this stuff, and my virus scan and filters seems to be failing. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
(UPDATE- March 20th: MY MOM GOT RID OF VIRUS! THANKS MOM!)

Yesterday Jason & his team had there Odyssey of the Mind competition. They took first place in vehicle, now they are going on to states next month. It was a long day but fun (thanks Monica for watching Joshua.) -Becky

On and on part 3

Since I was unable to come up with that $10,000 I needed to pay the surgery center to have surgery on my ankle, I am unable to have the surgery. This stinks as my ankle still hurts, but at least it is bare able. I can walk and run. I can carry stuff and even exercise a bit, so it will have to do. I am preceding with a lawsuit against place I fell, and maybe if I can get any money I will have surgery then. The total surgery with doctor, surgery center, and anesthesiologists is $22,000, plus the money that it would cost to pay daycare help while I recover (about $2,000.) Yikes! I can attest to the health care crisis, at least in my life. Because i don't have adequate health insurance and / or an extra ten grand lying around I can not have my ankle fixed and have to live with pain? That seems unfair! But God knows what He is doing, maybe I would still feel this way after the surgery, who knows?

So that means that in April I can focus on my yard and outside of house. I want to sand down and repaint all trim outside, power wash and stain deck, and clean up all weeds and dead debris and plant a garden.
We want to plant tomatoes, zucchini, strawberries, green beans, peppers, pumpkins, and not sure what else. I am so excited to have a yard to do this stuff in. I will see if the budget allows all this planting. If nothing else I will plant the tomatoes, these are so yummy! -Becky

God and finances

I like to think I have given God my finances. I thank Him for all He gives me, I give back, I try to give even more. But I still make plans with the money He gives me, sometimes without asking Him what He wants me to do with the money. I made plans for my income tax and was taking solace in the fact that I was set until the end of August with working now-end of June, and taking July & August off from work (as of right now I have NO summer clients, and my goal is to start working outside of the home in Sept. for shorter hours, benefits, and retirement.)
But almost immediately I am seeing that this is not going to work. I have an unexpected bill of $548 that I must pay by April 13th (a doctor's bill.) Also my washer is now not working, at least I have to pay for a repair, at most a new stack able (oh I wish I had room for two appliances not just one.) Plus I need to have my car repaired this month. This already eliminates over $1000 of my savings. Completely unexpected. I need at least $2000 for basic July & Aug. bills. That is all my savings. That leaves me with no emergency fund at all. Not a good place to be. At least other than the doctor's bill, I have no debt. And yes, I can work in the summer, but it has to include my children, as childcare is hard to come by and expensive.
I also wanted to get season passes for great adventure and get a semi permanent pool for the yard (these were planned from my tax money) but now I am not able to do these, so I feel like what will my children do this summer. I know it's not that bad, we live near a free beach and have two friends within walking distance who have pools. These are certainly not needs, I just thought me moving here would ease our financial situation so we could have some spending money.
But realistically life is still great. We still have shelter, food, clothes, lots of stuff, our health, I work from home, so I don't have daycare costs and am available if my kids need a hug now and again. I still will be able to take July & Aug. off (I still will keep my part time job, that's our food money, and will probably take a second part time job for spending money.) But for the most part I will be home with my children in July & Aug. What a blessing! God is so awesome, He has always met all our needs. I guess to avoid disappointment I need to ask God what He wants me to do with the money He gives me. I think I need to remember to do this is all areas of my life as well.

God what do you want me to do with the money and time you give me?
in Jesus Name-Amen

What have you done for God today?

Hello! I can type all day about what God has done for me today:
got me up, let me breath, showed me the beautiful sun, allowed my kids to wake up, I still have a home, food, clothes, a job, friends, family, my church, my freedom to say His name aloud in public, my health, my boys health, LOVE, a car, and I could go on and on.
But what have I done for God today? Have I thanked him, talked to Him, read His word, shared Him with others, prayed for others, have I given my time and/ or money on causes He believes in. Have I loved a friend, loved an enemy? Helped someone in need? Smiled at a stranger?
What would God say I have done for Him today?
What would he say you have done for Him today? What are we waiting for? We still have time to do something for God today, opportunities are all around us. Let me know about it. -Becky

How do you get paint out of your hair?

Hello! Last night I worked 5:30pm-9:10pm. The parents came home a little early and even overpaid me. They are such a nice family. Since my boys were sleeping at my mom's I went food shopping on the way home. I was so happy to have quiet while I shopped, the store was very clean and empty. I was in and out in 20 min. I got so many veggies and everything on my list plus bread for next week and a few extra lunches for next week as well, without going over budget. YEAH! After I put the groceries away, I cooked some stuff and did some prep for some of next week's meals. Then I straightened up and talked on the phone. It was 2:00am when I went to bed, but with the time change it was really 3:00am. AHHHH!!!!!
This morning I was up at 8:00am, got dressed and went to my mom's to get the boys, Jason was still sleeping. I got to eat breakfast at my mom's. She made zepolies, yum, but so not good for me. Then we went to church. The message was awesome about knowing we are not where we were but also knowing we still have a long way to go to be like Christ. We always have to be moving towards Him, or we will be backsliding. There is no standing still with our walk in the Lord. This is so true.
After church we had pasta for lunch. Yum! Then I did dishes and Jason went to play at his friends. Then I finally got around to painting the bathroom. I used a very small sponge brush for most of the job. It was torture. I realized I stink at painting. But it is done. Joshua likes it. I am not too sure if I like it, it is orange, Finding Nemo orange. We have a Finding Nemo border and bath accessories to go with it. See when we moved my boys gave up there own rooms to share a room. Jason picked the color of there new bedroom (a nice green.) Well, Joshua got to pick the color of the bathroom, he picked his favorite color, orange. So I went with a Nemo theme. I think it will be cute once I get the border up.
Now I am going to straighten kitchen and then go shower so hopefully I can get this orange paint out of my hair. Any tips on how to do that? -Becky

It's that bright
can you find the light switch?
shelf above commode

Do nothing day

Hello! I was planning on painting my bathroom today, but when I got up at 6:30 to get Jason ready for his Odyessey stuff it was raining. I got him ready and fed and one of the coach's picked him up at 7:30. So I read a magazine then went back to bed. Joshua was so happy to be off punishment that he watched a movie and then played his game. I was so happy to lounge in bed. At 12:30 I was still in my pj's. I so needed this. Of course I was embarrassed when someone stopped by at 1:00 and I was still in my pj's. But it is a raining, yucky day. We all need a pj day.
But now it is 3:00 and I am showered and dressed, the house looks reasonable, and I am well rested. Now I am going to pay some bills and go get Jason then go to work. I babysit Sat. nights from 5:30-10:00. They are the best behaved kids ever (twin 7 year olds, I have been sitting for since they were 3.) This money is my food money, but I wish it was my spending money. I will be happy to go food shopping again tomorrow, I have not actually gone food shopping since Dec. Crazy right. I have gotten milk and bread every two weeks, but other than that I have been trying to live out of my pantry, I have had to buy a few other things every two weeks, but have not spent more than $150 in JAN. & DEC. Of course my mom has bought us stuff, which has been helpful. But I have used up most of our pantry and freezer stuff, so it is back to actually shopping now. I still have in my freezer though:
enough chili (already cooked) for one dinner (and rice in pantry, and corn muffin mix too.)
sausage for two separate meals
chicken breasts for two separate meals
chopped meat for one meal
shrimp
plus I have pasta & sauce in pantry
canned veggies to go with above meals
frozen waffles & syrup
oatmeal
cereal for week
milk for week
cheese for grill cheese and cheese & crackers
eggs for breakfast
pancake mix for breakfast

so I actually have enough food for 6 dinners, 5 breakfast's, and 3 lunches. Not too bad. I will have to buy:
bread ($5) (two loaves)
yogurt ($3 kids $3 mine-$6)
fresh fruit ($10)
stuff to make huge salad (I eat everyday)($10)
stuff for 2 lunches ($10)
snacks (crackers, goldfish, etc.) ($10)(two snacks a day for 5 people)
1 treat each ($3 each- $9)
total $60


Hope you are not too bored. Please get some relaxing done yourself. -Becky

OUCH!

My aerobics instructor came over to give me a private session. Yikes! I am hurting. This was her Christmas gift to me, I have been avoiding her since. LOL! I hate exercise but I feel so good (inside I feel good,outside my body is aching!) when I am done. She is helping me to reach my goal weight, which means I have to lose about 50 lbs. AHHHHH! But I think I can do it before I turn 30 (Oct. 2009), she thinks sooner, by the end of this year if I:
exercise 30 min. 5x's a week
drink 8 glasses water a day
stay at or under 1,600 calories a day

It is doable but all are things I was not doing at all, so it is baby steps. I am doing the water. The calories and exercise not yet, but I am trying. This blog is keeping me accountable. Thanks! -Becky

HAPPY DANCE

I got my federal and state tax refunds! I wish it was $10,000 (see on and on part 2 post), but still we are so blessed. I am doing the happy dance!!!

Plus a friend gave me four bags of clothes last night, and I got a pair of pants, capri's, some spring shirts, three super cute skirts (I love skirts), a sweater set that is super cute, and 2 dresses. I can't believe it all fits. Plus there are two pairs of shorts for summer. This stuff is in perfect condition, and nicer than anything I would buy new. Plus lots of fall clothes for Joshua and a few summer things for the boys as well.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

On and on part 2

Well, back to pending surgery. Yikes, it has been crazy. I have had to get a lawyer because I can't afford surgery and all this craziness. As I was saying I need to have surgery, but my health insurance denied payment. My lawyer is trying to get the complex were I fell to pay. They offered us $8,000. The doctor alone is $8,000, the anthestialogist is $3,000, and the surgery center is over $10,000. Um, that $8,000 will not cut it. So my lawyer tries to get the doctor and surgery center to take a $1,000 deposit and letter of protection that they will get paid out of settlement (which will come in about 3 years.) The doctor says yes, but the surgery center says no way. They can't take that kind of risk. I understand there side, but where does that leave me?
Get this, my lawyer says, "Can't you just borrow the $10,000?" Can you see my face, eyes bugged out, mouth wide open, dumbfounded expression on my face. WHAT? I said I will see what I can do. What kind of world does he live in? I don't know anyone I could borrow $1,000 from, let alone $10,000. That is 1/2 my entire income for 2007! AHHHHHHH!
So do you have $10,000 I can borrow? Really?
So now I can not have the surgery, so I have to deal with my slight ankle discomfort for the rest of my life.
Please pray because I am going to appeal with my health insurance so maybe they will do it (but of course I will not get to keep my doctor, who I am really comfortable with. Oh and the surgery will probably be in an alley somewhere.)
Also my lawyer is going to try and get the surgery covered somehow, so pray for that as well. Or pray that I would know God does not want me to have surgery and be at peace with that as well. I hate being in limbo and not knowing. My surgery is still scheduled for March 31st, so I can't plan anything after that right now because I may be recovering. At least it gets me motivated to clean my house and paint the bathroom, so it will be done by then. Again though, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! -Becky

PRAISE

All Feb. bills and March rent are paid in full. This included $250 to get taxes done (with the daycare it is complicated, my CPA specializes in family childcare.) Plus $400 for the birthday trip I took Jason on. Both were budgeted for, but not part of my monthly budget. I did go over on trip and took difference from my savings, reducing my savings to exactly what I need to pay help when I have my surgery (the daycare assistant.) This is not great as this is all the emergency money I have. YIKES! But once I get my tax refund this will go to refund my emergency fund. As it stands I should have all the money to pay all March bills as well. Just as long as I do not see another $350 gas bill. AHHHH!!!!
GOD IS SO GOOD!

How has God blessed you lately? -Becky

homemade laundry soap

I make my own laundry soap. I love it. It is non sudsing and it cleans my clothes without the added extra scents that regular detergents leave behind. Plus it is great for my sensitive skin.

The recipe I use:

1/2 bar Fels Naptha Soap grated (I use a grater I got at dollar store cause it seems to retain soap taste.)
1 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
big pot
5 gallon bucket
water

put 4 cups water & grated soap in big pot and cook over low heat until all mixed (stir a lot)
once soap is dissolved add 1 cup borax
stir

pour mixture into 5 gallon bucket
add 3 gallons hot water from tap
stir
stir in 1 cup washing soda
mix well

let set 24 hours, stir every few hours

this will be a gel, not really liquid or solid.
This can fill 3 empty 100oz. laundry detergent bottles, and then some. Great cost, great product. No suds, but cleans great. Takes a little time to make but works out to like .4 cents a load.
Email me if you have any questions. -Becky

prayer request

hello! We had a restful day. We did go to church, but after just stayed home and cleaned a bit and watched tv and relaxed. I am a little sick, but no big deal I just keep going as I can not take off work. I have only closed 4 days in 3 years (once I had pinkeye, once I had a one day stomach bug, once Jason was sick, and one day for my ankle when I broke it.)
I actually feel better than I did yesterday. I got lots of sleep this weekend. My awesome mom had the boys sleep over Friday night and kept them till 4:00 on Saturday so I could rest. I also went out Fri. night to a Jewish Shabbat service and to Barnes & Noble for hot chocolate and cheesecake. YUM!
I still am super stressed about who knows what. I am trying to give it to God and not worry or get so upset about little things. I am trying to have JOY in the Lord no matter what. I had it once, but feel it is lacking lately.
Please pray that I would let God fill me with HIS JOY EVERYDAY! Thanks! -Becky

on and on

Feb. 14th 2007, Valentines Day, a day of love and happiness, candy and hearts, and ... an ice storm, oh and a slip on that ice by me. That was not a fun day for me as the boys and I walked up the hill (we were living in an apartment at that time) to my cousin's for dinner, and on the way home I slipped and fell. I could not get up. Joshua started to cry. I made Jason walk him home slowly. I finally managed to get myslef up and drag myself home (the usual 3 min. walk took about 30.) The pain was miserable. After dragging myself up 3 flights of stairs I made Jason put Joshua to bed and get me some frozen peas to put on my ankle. I figured it was sprained and would be better in the morning. I barely got any sleep that night as every time I moved an inch painful sensations shot up my leg. In the morning my mom called to see if Jason had school. I was still laying in bed and was not moving so I forgot about my ankle. I casually mentioned to my mom that I had fallen last night, then I tried to get up. I could not believe the pain and looking down at my ankle was disgusted, it was huge. My mom said she would take me to emergency room. I did not want to go, but could not stand the pain.
Of course after waiting I discovered I had broken my ankle. Diagnosis, hard cast and crutches. I broke down in the emergency room. I lived on the 3rd floor and watched children for a living. How would I do that? How would I take care of my own kids?
For the next few days I was still in alot of pain and not sure what to do. My mom helped with my boys and it was a weekend so I had no daycare kids. But I needed a plan for the upcoming weeks.
The amazing thing is once I started to ask so many people helped. For about 6 weeks I had someone from church there with me to watch daycare kids. They did not ask for pay or make me feel bad about it, they just helped. Others food shopped for me, while still others cleaned my house. My mom took care of the boys after work and in am and weekends as well. It was amazing.
After much intense itching and me being so humbled, I mean I could barely shower without help. My hard cast came off, and I got a walking cast. But I also got more bad news, the ankle did not appear to be healing properly. Talk of surgery was mentioned, I panicked again, but opted for the let's wait and see approach.

Fast forward to Jan. 2008. Now, completely free of any and all casts it was evident that I still have not healed. Simple things like playing on the floor with the kids, and aerobics are painful. My doctor said this is not normal, I should be able to resume normal activities by now, so the wait and see is no longer an option, I must have the surgery.
More on that to come......