another heartbreaking conversation

Yesterday Jason reminded me that he was bored at my wedding and so he played his new gameboy (this was in 2003), Joshua asked if I was marrying his dad. I said yes, then he started to ask me why I was not married to his dad anymore, to which I told him his dad didn't want to be married to mommy anymore. I don't want to make him look like a bad guy or glorify him either. I want to tell my boys the truth. I said his dad broke his promise to me and to God to stay married to me. Jason said is Joshua's dad a Christian. I said I thought so. They asked then why did he break his promise. I told them that we all sin, mom yells and stuff, we all sin. We all make mistakes. Joshua said he wants a dad in the house last time we talked about all this and I told him that God is our father but maybe God has another dad for him on earth. Well he has been praying for a dad in the house most every night. So yesterday he said "When will I get the dad God wants me to have?" What can I say, maybe never. But I tell him to keep praying and then I reminded him how blessed we are to have to each other and Grandpa who does fun boy stuff with them. It is so amazing to me how much a 10 and 4 year old get all this, when it still is so hard for me to comprehend. They are so innocent but seem also so wise beyond there years. And they trust God so to answer there prayers. But I want to also let them know God sometimes says no to our prayers. He knows what is best for us and sometimes no is best. He loves us that much to spare us from ourselves, if we obey Him. This is so hard. We think our ways will be the best, or at least I do. But boy have I been wrong. I see time and time again how His ways are the best for me. Too bad I don't always wait and listen myself. Thank God our God is a God of second chances (and third and fourth, and so on.) -Becky